


on the rocks

by black tea is bae (FuzzyPurplePenguins)



Series: tried & true & tired [3]
Category: Food Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Black Tea is a Saint, Coffee Stahp, F/F, Gyoza is a Good Boy, Master Attendant is Thirsty for some Vodka, Pining, Salty AF Master Attendant, very minor angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 05:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuzzyPurplePenguins/pseuds/black%20tea%20is%20bae
Summary: It was a wonder, then, with how much I despised the cold, that I was so enraptured with her.[Master Attendant/Vodka]





	on the rocks

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i am very queer for anime food and i have no regrets
> 
> This is just 1.7k words of me thirsting over Vodka. I am weak for the female Food Souls, my god.
> 
> I plan for this to be the first installment in a series of drabbley oneshots about the Food Souls I’ve acquired so far. I had fun with salty Master Attendant, and I want to write more of them.
> 
> Speaking of the Master Attendant - I wrote this with a f!Master Attendant in mind, but used first person and they/them in dialogue so that, hopefully, every one can enjoy this.

For the most part, I enjoyed venturing out into the world with my Food Souls. Battling Fallen Angels, collecting ingredients, and helping civilians: all these actions gave my life more meaning, helped me push through every day, baking desserts and sweet treats when all I wanted to do sometimes was curl into a ball and never get out of bed.

However, there was always one thing about venturing out that I hated: having to trek up to a snowy location for ingredients we couldn’t get anywhere else. I despised the cold, slept with a million blankets and required a hot cup of coffee to function every morning during the cold winter.

It was a wonder, then, with how much I despised the cold, that I was so enraptured with her.

Vodka had come into my life on a bizarrely cold summer morning. Scattering uniquely purple-colored Soul Embers across the Summoning Circle, I had been taken aback when the young, Slavic Food Soul had appeared, a playful smile on her lips, a glass of vodka in one hand, and a fucking eagle on her shoulder.

Vodka had introduced herself, instructed that Andre - her eagle! - needed a clean environment, and that all she required was alcohol.

I had blinked at her like a fucking idiot, taken aback by her beauty and her eagle. Brownie, never more then five steps away from me, had cut in, smoothly escorting Vodka to the dorms and helping her get her orders in business.

I had gone down to the kitchen and buried myself in chocolate chip cookie dough and wine coolers. Pudding had to scrape me off the kitchen floor and Tiramisu had mothered me while healing my hangover, but I hadn’t followed Vodka around like a puppy that first night and the cookies I had made were sellable.

I considered that a win. Mostly.

* * *

 

I loved all my Food Souls equally, but I always found myself drawn to my female-presenting Food Souls over the more masculine ones. Sure, Brownie and Pudding seemed to have made a cutthroat competition of who could be a better butler to me, and Chocolate took every opportunity he could to flirt with me, but their attention was nothing compared to afternoon tea with Black Tea, Tiramisu’s warm, quiet companionship in the kitchen while baking cake, or even posing for Hotdog’s newest masterpiece.

I was weak for my feminine Food Souls, and Vodka was a gorgeous beauty, almost unapproachable.

She strutted around the café, charming customers left and right, all with a never-ending glass of vodka in hand. I often found myself watching her as I baked, unable to keep my eyes from her form.

Hotdog declared me to be beautiful frequently, but I was of the opinion that I could not hold a candle to Vodka. And so I lurked in the shadows, ever watchful but unwilling to step across that final line.

* * *

 

“Are you cold, Master Attendant?” Black Tea asked.

“Am I cold?” I replied bitingly, burrowing further in my parka jacket, childish cake-themed beanie pulled down over my ears. “Well, I don’t know, Black Tea. Are we in the middle of a giant fucking glacier?”

Milk looked unpleased with my tone of voice. I scowled and burrowed further into my parka.

“I find it quite refreshing,” Vodka said, glass of vodka in hand per usual. Andre was perched on her shoulder, she was wearing her customary outfit (baring plenty of skin and not made for the cold at all), and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to kiss her until I couldn’t breathe or kick her off the mountain.

Okay, I wanted to kiss her. But back at the café. In front of the fireplace. With a cup of cocoa made by Chocolate. Swaddled in blankets.

“I could warm you up, Master Attendant,” Coffee said, coat tails flapping in the biting wind as he interrupted my daydreaming. “My coat’s big enough for two.”

“It smells like coffee beans,” I muttered. “Pass.”

“Are you going to be grumpy during the entire mission?” Black Tea asked calmly, eyes sweeping back and forth, always on the watch for Fallen Angels.

“You’ve been with me from the beginning,” I said, huddling further into my parka. “I am made of salt and my heart is black.”

“Your heart is not black. You melt every time Jello sings,” Milk said in her ever-present monotone.

“She is pureness incarnate and the most precious, okay!” I said, raising my voice in defense of my favorite kitchen-based Food Soul. “Every time she sings a wish is granted!”

Black Tea just raised an eyebrow.

“I’m going to steal Gyoza’s rolling pin and fight you,” I told her, eyes sliding back to Vodka leading the way, Gyoza at her side, the young Food Soul wide-eyed and looking at every little thing in sight.

“You really need to go drinking with Vodka,” Black Tea finally said. “Maybe she can melt your salt pile.”

My cheeks burned a furious red and I cleared my throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Master Attendant...we all know you’re head over heels for her,” The magic-based Food Soul said easily.

“She is gorgeous and I am weak,” I hissed, glaring at the snow underneath my feet.

“Sounds like a good title for your autobiography,” Coffee said, adjusting his glasses. I made a face at him.

“First chance I get, you’re off the main team,” I grumbled.

“I look forward to my future rest and relaxation,” He said without missing a beat.

“Why are you all so sassy all time?”

“Perhaps because I was summoned by you,” Coffee said, winking at me. My cheeks burned bright red and I huffed.

“Sometimes I think I should have just sold the café before I met any of you,” I muttered, and hurried to catch up with Gyoza, who was always capable of cheering me up.

* * *

 

Thirty minutes later, my team was in the middle of a harsh fight against an enhanced Uke Mochi who had been stealing ingredients from a village that hired us.

Gyoza was doing his best to withstand every attack thrown our way, Milk constantly healing him as the rest of the team threw every attack they had at the Fallen Angel. I was standing just behind Milk, Cooking Talent cards in hand.

I pulled Dark Cuisine out of the deck, throwing it in the air and pouring magic into it. A sickly, aqua glow appeared above the Uke Mochi and it visibly shuddered.

Milk!” Black Tea yelled, and my first two Food Souls channeled their magic, the energy visible in the air as they mixed their powers together, Black Tea leaping into the air to perform a series of quick-fire, powerful gunshots.

The Uke Mochi shrieked as it hit the ground, almost dead. In a desperate, last-bid attempt to take down with it, it sent out one last attack, tentacles flying everywhere.

Most of my main team dodged or endured the hits, but one last tentacle came out of nowhere, striking across my body and sending me flying, pain bursting through what felt like every nerve as I hit the snowbank.

“Master Attendant!” I heard five voices scream, and then Black Tea yelling orders.

Milk appeared by my side, hands glowing with pink-purple energy as she began to heal my wounds, scratches and open wounds caused by the Uke Mochi’s tentacle. “Tea, we have to get Master Attendant home now!”

“I will carry them,” said an ice-cold, accented voice, and then Vodka was in my eye-line, placing a gentle, cold hand against my cheek.

“Conserve your energy, Master Attendant,” She told me, eyes like diamond but worried at the same time. “I will protect you.”

I tried to speak, but my throat failed me, convulsing as I coughed.

“Don’t speak, Master Attendant,” Milk said, worry slipping through her monotone. “Rest now; we’ll get you home safe and sound.”

Rest sounded good. I reached a hand towards Vodka, who clasped it firmly, and closed my eyes.

* * *

 

I was very, very warm.

I felt the heat of a cocoon of blankets and the crackling of a fire as I rose from unconsciousness, and when I cracked my eyes open I found myself in Milk and Tiramisu’s makeshift medbay.

“You’re awake, Master Attendant,” I turned my head to see Vodka sitting by my bed, her glass of vodka perched on my bedside table, and Andre nowhere to be seen. “How are you feeling?”

“Warm,” I told her happily. Her eyes sparkled and her lips lifted into a smile.

“Good. Are you in pain?” She asked, leaning forward to brush hair away from my face.

“Nopeee,” I said, maybe a little loopy from what was no doubt both Milk and Tiramisu’s best healing spells; the side effects of which were similar to those of pain medication. “I want cookies,” I told her.

“Maybe after Milk clears you,” She said, fingers resting against my cheek. “And...once you’re in fighting form again...” Vodka’s fingers trailed downward. I held my breath as her fingers traced over my bottom lip. “Maybe we can go drinking together, Master Attendant.”

Our eyes met. She was staring down at me, and I was blown away by how dark they were, with how much want they held.

“I’d like that very much, Vodka,” I whispered.

She smiled, hand moving off my face to tangle with own of my own. “By the way, Master Attendant...”

“Yes?”

“I’d have to agree with Hotdog; you are more beautiful then any painting,” Vodka said, squeezing my hand.

My cheeks filled with warmth and my stomach with butterflies. “Charmer,” I huffed, blushing furiously.

The Food Soul just smiled, leaning in to brush a kiss against my cheek. “You wouldn’t have me any other way,” She breathed.

My cheeks filled with more heat, but I met her gaze. “You’re perfect the way you are,” I said, and felt my heart skip a beat as her smile grew wider.

“I have the best Master Attendant in the world,” She said, accent thickening as she bent her head to kiss me.

“Well, I have the best Food Soul in the world,” I murmured back when we parted, my lips tingling and tasting vaguely of alcohol. “Stay with me?”

“Always,” She said.

And in that moment I knew it was a promise she would do her best to never break.

~fin

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos feed my soul. Lemme know which Food Soul you think I should thirst over next.


End file.
